Posts by Brian Cook at FanHouse

scha·den·freu·de

–noun

satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune.

[Origin: 1890–95; < G, equiv. to Schaden harm + Freude joy]

On This Week In Schadenfreude we explore the sputtering rage, gibbering condemnation, and resigned ennui of the college football fan who has recently undergone humiliating defeat. Because even in your darkest hour, someone else is suffering too, and probably worse than you. Unless you are a Michigan fan who has just finished watching the Appalachian State game.

I don't think a winning team has ever pulled down the Tears of Unfathomable Sadness award, but we have history this week. LSU fell behind against the Troy Trojans of Troy (We're From Troy!) 31-3, causing a mass exodus from Death Valley and a truly epic message board war. This is the nuclear bomb:

At this point LSU fans just need to STFU. We are largely irrelevant, living off past glory, full of self-congratulatory bluster. Even now, some tard (sorry PJ) is on my radio talking about Nick Saban. Saban ? We don't believe in our team, we don't believe in our coaches, it's not important to us anymore to even stay at the stadium. We have made second-guessing an art form and have a juvenile view of reality. We bitched our way through a National Freaking Championship and now we are sniveling through a 9/10 win season. THAT IS WHO WE ARE. Snivelers. Whiners. Crybabies. With a ridiculous sense of entitlement.

I'm not blaming us or even asking for change, I'm just acknowleding the Truth.

Uh. Wow. And then you've got the first response:

It was either leave or kill the wife to stop the whining and there were too many witnesses to do the right thing.

Yes, what they say about LSU fans is true: they smell like corndogs and are complete lunatics. (Just kidding LSU fans! Please don't dip me in batter and fry me!) The rest of the week in spleen after the jump.

Ron Prince is the latest in the midseason firing bandwagon that Clemson made fashionable:

The Wichita Eagle, as well as several other Kansas media sources, are reporting that K-State has called a press conference at 4 p.m., at which head coach Ron Prince will announce his resignation.

You should mentally replace "resignation" with "firing," as the Wildcats are 16-18 in Prince's three years and their latest JUCO-mad recruiting class isn't getting it done.

This isn't much of a surprise. Prince was a weird hire from the word "go." At the time of his hiring he had been the offensive coordinator at Virginia for four years, in which time UVA had never lost fewer than four games. The year before he got picked, the Hoos averaged 27 points per game, which would be good for 57th nationally this year. He was completely unremarkable. And yet, here he is.

Now he's gone.

So: in Notre Dame tackle Sam Young's first season, this happens to him:

I'm pass setting and their defensive tackle comes over and gets some pressure on me and he pokes me in the eyes. I'm sitting there, one of my eyes is all blurry, and I'm going 'What the hell?'"And he just goes, 'Captain Insano shows no mercy.'

Captain Insano shows no mercy.



You will be utterly unsurprised to find out "Captain Insano" plays for Georgia Tech.

But the greater question: who is Captain Insano? And could he still be playing for GT? Three defensive tackles saw a bunch of time for GT in that game: then-senior Joe Anoai is the most likely candidate just because he saw the most playing time. Oh, and he comes from a family of professional wrestlers.

But the other two players who saw appreciable time in that Notre Dame game are Darryl Richard and Vance Walker, who are now senior starters. Could Captain Insano still walk among us?

(Via EDSBS)

On This Week In Schadenfreude we explore the sputtering rage, gibbering condemnation, and resigned ennui of the college football fan who has recently undergone humiliating defeat. Because even in your darkest hour, someone else is suffering too, and probably worse than you. Unless you are a Michigan fan who has just finished watching the Appalachian State game.

TWIS usually focuses on the violent emotions of the big-money teams in college football, since there are so many of them and to be really truly bats about a football team it helps if you've paid thousands of dollars and been repaid only in pain. But sometimes the agony of the little man cannot be denied, especially when you lose to Eastern Michigan.

Bowling Green did that last weekend, and the Futon Report says "That's the Worst Thing Ever" and responds thusly:


BGSU, you are the Tears of Unfathomable Sadness award recipient.

The rest of the week in spleen after the jump.

scha·den·freu·de /ˈʃɑdnˌfrɔɪdə/

–noun

satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune.

---

[Origin: 1890–95; < G, equiv. to Schaden harm + Freude joy]

On This Week In Schadenfreude we explore the sputtering rage, gibbering condemnation, and resigned ennui of the college football fan who has recently undergone humiliating defeat. Because even in your darkest hour, someone else is suffering too, and probably worse than you. Unless you are a Michigan fan who has just finished watching the Appalachian State game.

Last year, USC lost to Stanford. This was an extremely creative way to obliterate their shot at the national championship. This year they did one better, though, losing to a team that was soundly beaten by Stanford and causing Arizona State blog Pitchfork Nation to issue a special edition of their Pac 10 Power Poll in WAR-sized caps:

NO ONE.
NO ONE IN THIS CONFERENCE IS POWERFUL.
AT ALL.

Meanwhile, USC fans are suddenly just like the rest of us--insane:


No, Pete Carroll will forever be remembered for naked grunting samoan guys, and then probably the national championships. And then probably his fabulous hair. Only if you are literally in the room with Mike Riley and Jim Harbaugh will USC's weird upsets get brought up. Congratulations, USC, you are the Tears of Unfathomable Sadness award recipient.

The rest of the week in spleen after the jump.

Mike Leach: pirate fan, wack offense progenitor, lawyer, football coach. He's a renaissance man capable of almost anything outside of scheduling a nonconference opponent with a pulse. But you don't expect even Mike Leach to take "where should I go on a date?" as a serious question.

Or, at least, you didn't:



That is shockingly good advice. There are advice columnists who have made a career of answering that question with "be yourself!" Mike Leach just owned these people. If Leach woke up tomorrow and decided he would be an astronaut president unicorn I wouldn't be surprised.

scha·den·freu·de /ˈʃɑdnˌfrɔɪdə/

–noun

satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune.

---

[Origin: 1890–95; < G, equiv. to Schaden harm + Freude joy]

On This Week In Schadenfreude we explore the sputtering rage, gibbering condemnation, and resigned ennui of the college football fan who has recently undergone humiliating defeat. Because even in your darkest hour, someone else is suffering too, and probably worse than you. Unless you are a Michigan fan who has just finished watching the Appalachian State game.

This column tries to vary the Tears of Unfathomable Sadness award recipient in order to not pick on any one unsuccessful team unduly, but... uh...



We ain't gonna make it when West Virginia fans throw up a video featuring a dozen photoshops of a paint-wielding, Gomer Pyle tee-wearing Bill Stewart and a YTMND that asks HOW DO I TIMEOUT. (HT: EDSBS.) West Virginia, mountain momma, take it home.

The rest of the week in spleen after the jump.

Every once in a while someone will be caught in a picture so platonically something that he will forever more be that picture in the minds of people predisposed to think unkindly of that person: rivals, sometimes neutrals, and in the case of deposed ex-coaches, fans who suffered through the era about to be redacted.

Examples:

• Lloyd Carr after the Oregon game, looking sour.
• Joe Paterno desiring brains.
• Bill Stewart doing this last night:

I'm really not trying to pile on, but man... the battle is over. This is Bill Stewart in the public mind, forever. Ask Carr.